There's really no denying it, the depression is on me again pretty hard. Has been for a couple weeks now. This doesn't mean that it's got me down yet. I'm fighting against it... it hasn't got me sitting in a chair staring blankly at a wall for 16 hours a day yet. The focus lately has been regret. What happened to my life after I moved to Chicago? Once in a while something triggers my sense of what my life is supposed to feel like, but it doesn't, and I wonder where I went wrong. By now I'm supposed to feel successful, free. I'm supposed to see local TV programming about Chicago and all the interesting things in it and think, yep, that's my life. But it isn't my life... not in the slightest. Instead I feel unimportant and trapped in my own life. I look at those programs with a feeling of loss.
Like I said, I'm fighting against it... This is coming from an analytical place, not entirely from depression.
This is one of those posts that I'm really uncomfortable making. I really don't think I want my friends knowing I feel like this.
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