June 13, 2009 (164/365)

New data says the the average person sees 5,000 advertisements every day. They're plastered, literally, everywhere and on everything. Here's a word of advice to all those megacorps out there fighting each other for every moment of our waking attention: Make something worth looking at besides the ads.

June 12, 2009 (163/365)

Don't have much to say tonight. Another uninteresting, borderline dysfunctional day of my life I won't be getting back.

June 11, 2009 (162/365)

The office was weird today. I feel a little less like part of the gang there now. And since I haven't laid out a book in a solid month, everything felt unsure. They've also instituted a production procedural checklist which, while a good idea, seems a bit too extreme in its minutia sometimes. And, because of a glitch in the automated page processing system, I ended up having to redo 3/4 of the book, putting me behind for the rest of the night. Didn't even get a head start on tomorrow, so I'll have to get up early. Bleh.

June 10, 2009 (161/365)

In my never-satisfying quest to find a vitamin supplement that will help me think more clearly, I'm going to try Acetyl-L-Carnitine. If I wig out in the next few days and finally snap, assume this was the catalyst.

June 9, 2009 (160/365)

This really is a different phase of the depression. The urge to sleep is more and more frequent. I'm choosing nightmares over waking depression. I've never done this before.

June 8, 2009 (159/365)

I think Z.'s starting to consider me a friend. It's nice. In several ways, he's the anti-me. I won't tell him how much I envy him.

Jun 7, 2009 (158/365)

It's weird... I take personal offense that, a week into official "summer," the temperature has only risen above 70 degrees a couple times. Almost every day has been 20 degrees below normal. God is doing this specifically to annoy me.

June 6, 2009 (157/365)

5:00am clause. BTW, the rug wasn't exactly pulled out from under me, it was switched with a different, much less comfy rug.

June 5, 2009 (156/365)

Well, this is a nice, comfy rug I'm standing on. ...Expect it to be pulled out from under me tomorrow.

Because ...yaknow... I can't be allowed to be comfy.

June 4, 2009 (155/365)

Some people hear voices. I see visions. It's not "seeing things" really, it's briefly envisioning or imagining myself in a different life... often what I perceive as a happier life (though I sometimes wonder if that's just a "grass is greener" appeal... or not). I've written about this phenomenon before, so I won't go into details about them again. I have so many shortcomings in real life, I think if I were the type to lie, I'd develop an entirely fabricated life filled with amazing, titillating exploits so no one would know the truth. I'd be Commander McBrag.

June 3, 2009 (154/365)

I already react more strongly than most to lies. But it's just intolerable when someone close to me lies.

June 2, 2009 (153/365)

I don't have anything to say tonight that doesn't sound superficial or depressing. I guess I'm just putting in the time to post tonight.

June 1, 2009 (152/365)

I have a dream (the non-sleeping kind). I want to go back in time to the early 90s and go into a busy CompUSA store. There, I tell them to stack up cases of 1 megabyte floppy discs until the accumulated memory equals 32 gigabytes. (I'm guessing that'd be about 75 cases.) Then, amidst the curious stares and whispers, I climb to the top of the piled cases of discs, pull out a 32gb flash drive, hold it high in the air, and declare "this tiny device, which costs only $25, holds as much data as all these discs!" I then smugly leave amidst the furor of gasps and voices raised in shock and disbelief.

Reading that, I really sound like a geek.

May 31, 2009 (151/365)

Do you ever feel like life's pulling a "bait & switch" on you? ...dangling one thing in front of you until you decide to take it, then giving you something you didn't want instead. I feel like I'm at the dangling stage.

May 30, 2009 (150/365)

Dinner, shopping, and light putzing around with K. tonight. I like K., but I always feel like we're not quite clicking on a mental level. It's not about intellect, it's about being in synch. I want to be in synch with her. I also bet she was crazy-fun in her youth. Sorry I missed it.

Hmm. this is starting to smell like the documented minutia of my day. I'm going to have to steer this back onto the road.

May 29, 2009 (149/365)

Sometimes I think I go to movies to live vicariously through the characters in the films. The thought makes me sad. I go to a lot of movies.

May 28, 2009 (148/365)

I hate trying to schedule things with other people. 90% of the time they fall through. Seriously...90% Tonight's plans with 2 people crashed, Saturday's plans have already crashed, and I'm sensing a high probability of crashing for Friday night's plans.

May 27, 2009 (147/365)

Disclaimer: This is my uneducated opinion. I encourage those prone to death threaten to just ignore me.

I'm going to be wildly unpopular in this opinion, but I don't believe that gay couples have a "right" to marry. (Lord, I feel dirty just saying it.) I have absolutely nothing against gays or bisexuals, lord knows I have many friends with those leanings. But my take is that "Marriage" is defined by religion not the political state. (I'm going to use Christianity as the basis for my opinion here since it's the only religion I have any real knowledge of at all.) If the Christian Bible, supposedly the "word of God," states that marriage is between a man and a woman only, that's the end of the matter. No city, state, or country has the ability to overrule the word of God, and no amount of community outcry is likely to get the Big Man to appear and concede (though it would be unprecedentedly cool). I wish this weren't the case, because I believe anyone who seriously wants to should have the right to marry. But my ...nor any of your... desires can't change the facts. God makes the rules. I'm also both amused and appalled at the media and anyone else making the suggestion "Isn't it about time that religion changed to suit the times?" Like it's the decor in the family room that can be refreshed when we're tired of it. Sorry kids, it doesn't work that way.

I'd also like to send out a personal aside to the people of California. You had a giant-ass public vote to decide if gay marriage should be banned, and it was. And then the vote was legally upheld. Twice. Like it or not, I think it's safe to believe that the majority of citizens in CA don't think it should be legal. Y'all can stop shaking your tiny fists in righteous indignation in front of every news camera that will take your picture just because you're not happy with the outcome. You want your gays to be able to marry, change the law, and I'll get right behind you.

May 26, 2009 (146/365)

It's amazing and sad how fast something can drop out of the news. Minnesota cancer kid and his mom resurfaced yesterday. They returned home, weren't arrested, and agreed to get the kid the life-saving chemo they'd denied him. Nothing scandalous or "newsworthy" here. Thus, after leading the headlines like a killer on the loose since they left, they're reduced to a barely-mentioned on the 30 minute news cycle. Yeah, nobody cares about that. Media douchebags.

May 25, 2009 (145/365)

I've been directing my writing energy to game preparations tonight. More productive that way. I'll eventually post some of those writings here.